


Finding my way back to you

by reylotrash711



Series: reylotrash711's one shots [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Love, Love Confessions, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reylo - Freeform, Skywalker Family Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23146159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash711/pseuds/reylotrash711
Summary: Silence. A cold aching silence. No sounds of distant explosions, no gentle hum of a lightsaber. Nothing. And yet, it’s peaceful, calming, his head devoid of the voices that had plagued him for so long. For once in his life, he felt truly at peace, no conflict, no pain or suffering. Only peace, prosperity and the thing that stood out the most, resolve.---In order to find his way back to Rey, Ben Solo must first come face to face with Kylo Ren's crimes...
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren
Series: reylotrash711's one shots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588801
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47
Collections: Reylo Charity Anthology: Volume 2





	Finding my way back to you

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy everyone! This is my piece for the Reylo Charity Anthology! Huge thank you to the mods and if you haven't already, I suggest you check out the other amazing fanfics and fanart from the anthology because they are all beautiful and it was an honour to work with so many talented people.

Silence. A cold aching silence. No sounds of distant explosions, no gentle hum of a lightsaber. Nothing. And yet, it’s peaceful, calming, his head devoid of the voices that had plagued him for so long. For once in his life, he felt truly at peace, no conflict, no pain or suffering. Only peace, prosperity, and the thing that stood out the most, resolve. 

He was unsure whether or not he was still alive. The last thing he remembered was the temple. Rey’s smile turning to a look of fear before he felt himself falling. Rey. Was she okay? Was she safe? He felt himself begin to panic. What if she hadn’t made it out the temple in time? What if she was crushed by the falling stone? Or worse, what if Palpatine returned to finish her? He’d already done it once. Ben felt an icy chill move through his veins. 

As these thoughts raced through his mind and he slowly began to come back to himself, he could feel a hard floor beneath him, brightness shining down on him. He slowly opened his eyes, confused by the predicament he had found himself in. When his eyes adjusted, he could see stars above him, sparkling in the darkness. Sitting up, he looked around him in awe. This was unlike anything he had ever seen. He was surrounded by darkness, stars lighting a white path that lay in front of him. It seemed to be a never-ending path, simply leading into darkness. Getting to his feet he raised a curious eyebrow. Where the hell was he? He was dead. He had to be. It was the only explanation for all this. If he was truly in deep space, he would’ve surely suffocated by now. 

Looking down he took in his strange apparel: he was no longer dressed in his dark shirt and pants. He was now in white Jedi-like robes. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes; he probably looked ridiculous. 

Confused by the situation he was in, he found himself taking a step forward, then another and another, until his feet were leading him through the darkness. Was there an end to it all? Or even a beginning? There was nothing else he could do, just keep walking, in hope that he would discover some meaning to it all. 

As he walked amongst the stars, distant voices began to call out to him. He paused mid-stride.

“Who’s there?” he asked nervously, whipping his head around and frantically looking for the source of the voice. 

He knew that voice. “Dad,” he said, his voice hoarse as he closed his eyes. “Where are you?” he whispered. 

“I’m here.” 

Ben’s eyes flew open and he came face to face with his father. Han Solo smiled at him. His hands were stuffed in his trouser pockets, and he looked just as he had on the Death Star. “I’m so proud of you son,” he said taking a step forward. 

“We both are,” called a voice from behind him. Ben watched in shock as his mother stepped out of the darkness, resting her hand on her husband’s shoulder. Han turned and smiled at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

“Mum,” Ben whispered with tears in his eyes. As he looked between the two of them, the truth dawned on him, his suspicions frighteningly real. “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Han and Leia gave each other a knowing look before nodding slowly. 

Ben looked down at his feet as if he were taking it all in. He was dead. He knew he deserved it, after everything he had done, whether it was under the influence of Snoke or not, it didn’t matter. He had killed people, murdered innocents, destroyed thousands. Maybe he never deserved to make it out of Exogol alive. 

But it was worth dying for her, for Rey. Living without her would’ve been never-ending torture; giving her his life had been an easy decision, one he made without hesitating. And yet he couldn’t deny that deep in the pit of his stomach, he knew he could’ve found another way.

“You’ve been so brave, sweetheart,” Leia said, taking a step forward. She tentatively reached out and caressed her son’s cheek, “All those years, I will never be able to express how sorry I am for everything you went through.”

Ben leaned into his mother’s touch, giving her a small smile. He hadn’t seen her in so long, and he had missed her so much. And now she was here. Right in front of him, with so much love. Why was she apologising? None of this was her fault. 

Ben shook his head, “There is nothing you could’ve done.” Tears streamed down his mother’s cheeks. He hated seeing her cry. Even as a child, he couldn’t stand to see his mother in pain. This woman, this legend who had been a leader, had led the rebellion to victory and been hope for thousands of people across the galaxy. 

“We should of tried to talk to you, to understand what you were going through,” she cried. 

Ben took his mother’s hands in his. He was on the verge of tears, but he remained strong, trying his best to stay composed and calm. “There’s no point wondering now, it’s all over.” He looked back at his father who gave him a sad smile. “And you helped me realise who I was truly, that light remained and could always overpower the dark,” he continued, recalling the events on the Death Star, when his mother had reached out to him shortly before her death. 

“Oh come here, my boy,” said Leia, wrapping her arms around her son and pulling him into a loving embrace. Ben held onto his mother, finally allowing the tears he had held back to fall. Sinking to his knees, he cried as his mother ran her fingers lovingly through his dark hair whispering words of comfort. 

“I’m so sorry Mum, for everything, I’m so sorry.” 

Leia sank down to her knees in front of him and gave him a smile. “I forgive you Ben, I’ll always forgive you. I love you.” Han approached them slowly, before kneeling down and pulling his family into his arms, doing what he couldn’t express with words. 

“I never wanted either of you to die for me,” Ben croaked. He cried for his mistakes, for everything he had done to his family, for all the pain he had inflicted on them. “It was worth it, in the end.” Han said, “The light won, Ben. Without you, Palpatine would still be alive.”

Ben pulled back and looked at his parents in the eyes, shaking his head. “It wasn’t me,” he mumbled. “It was her.” Han and Leia both knew who he was referring to. Ben took a deep, shaking breath before continuing, “Is she okay? Is she safe?” 

“Yes, she’s safe, but without you, Rey can never truly be at peace,” Leia explained. She turned and looked out at the stars as if searching for a distant memory. Ben watched as she closed her eyes and stretched out a hand, reaching out with the Force. Ben turned to the direction she was looking in and watched in awe as an image began to form before him. 

Slowly, he stood, moving away from his parents as he stared at the image: Rey was sitting alone on what could only be the 

. Her knees were pulled up to her chest as she wept softly. Her wounds from Exogol had been healed, but the pain Ben was witnessing was far greater than anything a blaster or lightsaber could inflict. Her eyes were red and swollen, her hair falling from its three buns. She was trembling, her cries pleading and desperate. Ben stretched out a hand, desperate to reach her, to comfort her in any way he could. But it was impossible. 

“Ben,” Rey cried, her forehead pressing against her knees. 

Tears streamed down Ben’s cheeks. She was alone. And so was he. His equal, his dyad, his soulmate was Force knows how far away, they were separated by time and space. Why couldn’t things have been different? Was there a reality where they lived happily ever after? A thing that he knew only existed in the fairytales he read as a child. 

“Is there any way?” he asked his parents, his eyes remaining fixated on Rey’s shaking form. There was no response. “Mom? Dad?” he asked hesitantly. Ben turned to see the forms of his parents had disappeared, leaving him alone in the darkness. Ben turned back to Rey, feeling utterly helpless. He wanted to hold her in his arms, brush away her tears, and assure her everything would be okay. But it wouldn’t be okay. She was there, and he was here, worlds and galaxies apart. 

Suddenly he felt a chill go down his spine, causing him to shiver. He knew that feeling; he understood the presence. A presence that had plagued him his whole life, a phantom in his mind for decades. “You foolish child,” the venomous voice spat. 

Ben turned, keeping an eye on Rey as he shot the former Supreme Leader an icy glare. “Why are you here?” Ben said through gritted teeth. Snoke took a step forward and with a flick of his wrist, the image of Rey faded into the stars. “NO!” Ben shouted, “REY!” He reached out, desperate to hold on. It felt like losing her all over again. 

“Pathetic,” said Snoke, striding forward.

Ben turned and let out an angry roar as he raised his hand, using all his strength to push the demon away with theForce. But nothing happened. Ben tried again, but it was as if he was slapping his hand against a brick wall. He couldn’t push Snoke away. 

The corners of Snoke’s lips turned up into a disgusting and menacing smirk. 

“Bring her back!” Ben exclaimed.

Snoke rolled his eyes as he circled around him. “Why would I do that? She was your greatest weakness. It’s her fault you failed,” he stated. 

Ben’s blood began to boil; he clenched his fists and stood firmly rooted on the spot, refusing to give in to the hate. “I didn’t fail,” said Ben.

“Oh really? Then what do you call this?” Snoke exclaimed, gesturing around them. “You are the grandson of Lord Vader, and you let a scavenger mislead you.” Snoke let out a sickening laugh, one that made Ben wish he had his lightsaber so he could silence this demon for good. “She was no match for you. You had the opportunity to destroy her and rule the galaxy, fulfill your destiny.” 

Ben turned to him. He refused to be afraid, refused to stand down. He wasn’t scared anymore, Snoke was nothing, a mere annoyance if anything. “That wasn’t my destiny,” Ben said firmly. 

Snoke raised an eyebrow, “Is that so?” he asked skeptically. “What about finishing what your grandfather started?” 

Ben winced at the words being thrown back at him. If only he had known who it was pretending to be the voice of his grandfather inside his head. “I destroyed you once. I won’t hesitate to do it again.” 

Snoke shook his head, “If that were true, you would’ve done it by now,” he stated. “You are weak Ben Solo. Becoming Kylo Ren was the best thing that ever happened to you, did you think saving the girl would’ve changed who you really are? That Kylo Ren would be forgotten? Ben Solo was gone a long time ago, and nothing can change who you became. Kylo Ren was destined for greatness; that darkness will forever be inside of you.” 

Ben’s heart was pounding: every word coming from Snoke was true. Saving Rey couldn’t wash away a lifetime of crime and hate. He was Kylo Ren. He was feared by thousands. No one would remember Ben Solo, but they’d remember Kylo Ren, the man who hurt so many innocent people. He didn’t deserve the grace and mercy of the light; he was unworthy. After everything he had done, no one would forgive him. 

Snoke stepped forward. “You could go back, I could help you,” he whispered in his ear. Ben flinched. “Embrace the darkness once again, Kylo Ren, and the galaxy could be yours. She could be yours…” 

Ben’s breathing hitched, was he telling the truth? Was there really a way back to Rey? They could be together, this nightmare would be over. But he knew Snoke. There had to be a price. “What’s the catch?” Ben asked suspiciously.

Snoke smirked, “Just that you must do what I say, destroy Ben Solo, become Kylo Ren and I will reunite you with your precious scavenger.” Snoke explained, “It’s the only way.” 

Ben turned to him, looking his former master up and down. Could he do it? Even if he did, would Rey want Kylo Ren? She had told him how she had wanted to take Ben’s hand, not Kylo Ren’s. She cared for Ben Solo. 

He couldn’t destroy Ben Solo. He wouldn’t become Kylo Ren again Rey deserved so much better than that. 

“No,” Ben said firmly, glaring at Snoke. “Kylo Ren is as dead as I am.”Ben took a step forward.After years of submission, he wouldn’t let Snoke win. “I will never be seduced by darkness again. I don’t need you anymore. I am a Solo, like my father before me.” He stood tall and proud. He had no idea what Snoke could do to him; for all he knew, he could be imagining this. 

“So be it. Solo,” said Snoke, his voice cruel and cold. “You gave it all up for what? For love.” Snoke laughed once again and Ben clenched his fists. If he dared say another word, Ben might just try and kill Snoke again.

“Pathetic.” Snoke continued, “Because you loved her, a scavenger. She’s probably already moved on, in the arms of another man. Nothing but a Jedi whore.” 

That was the last straw. Ben let out an almighty shout as he charged at Snoke, his loyalty to Rey, his love. Nothing could take that from him. And he’d be damned if he let this monster speak that way about her.

Stretching his hands out in front of him, he summoned all the energy he had in Snoke’s direction. With another shout he watched as Snoke’s face turned to one of disbelief as rays of light flew from Ben’s fingertips, flying in the direction of his former master. Before Snoke could move out of the way, the light collided with him, hitting him square in the chest. Ben watched as Snoke stumbled backward, light erupting around them as Snoke fell into thousands of pieces before fading away. 

Falling to his knees, Ben gasped for breath, shocked by his actions. With his head in his hands, he tried to calm down. He had felt so angry, so afraid. But it wasn’t the darkness that had destroyed Snoke, it was the light.

* * *

He remained on the ground for a long time. It could have been hours, days, months, maybe even minutes 

he had no idea. Ben simply remained with his hands pressed against the hard ground as he stared at them in shock. He’d done it, he’d destroyed Snoke once and for all. It was over. The demon that had been his constant companion was gone. It was so quiet. He hated it. Much like the silence he had encountered when he first arrived in what he could only describe as the afterlife.

For the first time since he had woken up, realization dawned on him. Would he be here forever? Would he truly never see Rey again? Ben’s heart screamed in agony. Why did it have to end? Why couldn’t they have been happy? They could’ve lived in peace, found a remote corner of the galaxy to live the rest of their lives together. They would’ve belonged together, they still did. Maybe one day they would’ve married, started a family, one they had both yearned for, for so long. He imagined children, one with dark raven hair and hazel eyes, the other with light chestnut brown hair and dark eyes. Their smiling faces as they played, laughed. Looking up at the stars, listening to his children’s excited chatter as they told him about all the adventures they’d go on. He’d have wiped away every tear, healed every cut, kissed every bruise. He’d have braided their hair in the Alderaanian styles his mother had taught him. He’d have read them a bedtime story every night, no matter how tired he was. He’d have taught them how to use the Force, helped them build their first lightsabers.

It could’ve been perfect, but that reality had been cruelly been ripped away from them by the cruel hands of death. 

A sob racked through him. Despite how much he had cried since arriving, a stray tear ran down his cheek. He froze when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, immediately recognising the presence. Hurriedly wiping away his tears, he backed away. The hand fell from his shoulder. 

“Leave,” Ben said firmly, refusing to turn and face him. He was the last person he wanted to see. 

“Ben,” Luke Skywalker said hesitantly. 

“No.”

“Ben, please, I would just like to

”

“I SAID NO!” Ben shouted, turning and shooting his Uncle an icy glare, one dripping with hatred and anger. 

Luke’s face fell, and he looked at him guiltily. 

He was quickly becoming angry again. Ben closed his eyes, trying his best to calm down. He shouldn’t let his anger take over; that’s what Kylo Ren would do. And he wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore. Once his breathing had slowed and he was 

calm, he opened his eyes. 

As he had expected, he came face to face with his Uncle who was looking at him sympathetically. “Why are you here?” Ben asked slowly. 

Luke took a small step forward. Ben took a step back, putting as much distance as possible between them. 

“You did it, Ben,” Luke said quietly, a small smile spread across his face. “I’m so proud of you.”

Ben rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, “Oh really?” he asked sarcastically. 

Luke nodded. “Of course I am,” he said firmly. 

They stood in awkward and tense silence. Ben looked down at his feet. His Uncle had come to him, hoping for forgiveness, he could tell. Why else would he be here? “Are you here to beg for my forgiveness?” Ben asked impatiently, the sooner his Uncle would leave, the better. He expected a vague answer, one laced with riddles and stupid metaphors. 

“Yes,” Luke said simply. 

Ben was slightly taken aback, it was unlike his Uncle to be so forward. “Why should I forgive you?” Ben said coldly. He’d trusted his Uncle, looked up to him: Luke Skywalker was his hero. As a child he had never really wanted to go to the Jedi Temple, he wanted to be a pilot like his father. But Luke had opened his eyes, introduced him to the beauty of the Force. At first, he loved the temple; he had friends who had become like his family. But as he grew older, the voice in his ear grew louder, more tantalizing. He’d tried to ignore the darkness growing within him, forcing it away. 

And then his Uncle betrayed him.

Stood over him as he slept with his lightsaber ignited. How could he forgive his Uncle for committing such a crime? How could he acknowledge this man as his family? 

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Ben, only that you listen to my apology.” He was dressed in Jedi robes much like his own, his gray hair hanging around his shoulders. The last time he had seen his Uncle had been on Crait, when he had projected himself as a distraction to protect the Resistance. 

Ben wondered what would’ve happened if his Uncle hadn’t appeared to him, if he had walked into that base and destroyed the Resistance. Would he have killed Rey? Would he have been able to bring himself to do it? No. Of course not. Since that moment on Ahch-To, he had known there was something between them, he wouldn’t have killed her after what happened in the throne room. And yet, he had been entirely blinded by anger, the feeling of rejection had been ingrained so deeply in him after she left him in the throne room. In a moment of anger, he may have struck her down in hatred. 

“Ben?”

He was snapped out of his daze by his Uncle’s voice. Ben looked up at him, Luke was nervously waiting for permission, wondering if he could continue. Ben nodded slowly. He could listen

maybe it was time to listen. 

“What I did, it was unforgivable, Ben.” He began, his voice nervous and slightly shaky, Ben had never seen him like this. “I was so afraid of the darkness, that it would take you the same way it took your grandfather. I was trying so hard to do the right thing that I didn’t realise what it was.” Ben looked down at his feet, unable to meet his uncle’s sorrowful gaze. “I should have talked to you, as your Uncle instead of your teacher.” 

Ben looked up, his Uncle appeared to be heartbroken. This man had once been like a father to him, the man who taught him so much, loved him as his own. The man who had pushed him into Snoke’s arms. 

“I will never be able to earn your forgiveness, but I want you to know, that I am sorry. The word doesn’t even cut it.” 

Luke took a step forward. The two Skywalkers stood a short distance apart, unsure of how to express how they felt. They needed to work on the talking part. “I love you Ben,” said Luke. 

It felt like a goodbye, a final message before they would part ways. Ben nodded slowly, he would never forgive his Uncle, but maybe one day they could be Uncle and Nephew again. 

He watched as Luke slowly turned and began to walk away. He paused and turned, “Remember who you are, Ben. Remember the dark will always be there, but so will the light.” Before Ben could reply, the image of his Uncle faded into the darkness, leaving him alone once again with a feeling of resolve and peace. 

* * *

His conversation with his Uncle had left him feeling heavy. His mind a mess. Their history wasn’t a simple one, in many ways they had destroyed each other. As much as he despised his Uncle and everything he had done, he couldn’t deny the feeling of resolve. This strange place was teaching him, teaching him to let go of the past, to let go of the man he once was. Kylo Ren had dominated him, destroying Ben Solo in the process. A feeling of immense regret washed over him. If only he had been stronger. Strong enough to resist the darkness, keep it at bay.

Maybe if he hadn’t turned to the darkside, his parents would still be alive. Maybe he’d still be alive. But Rey, would he have even met her? Would she have ever left Jakku? He liked to think that in another life he would have found her and taken her away from that hell. But he couldn’t help but think, if he hadn’t become Kylo Ren, maybe he would never have met her.

He couldn’t imagine a world without her now, she was his everything. But death had cruelly separated them. Ben looked at the stars around him, how far away was she? He’d move the stars to reach her, do anything just to see her smile again, hold her in his arms. Closing his eyes he remembered those last moments on Exogol. The feeling of her hand resting upon his own, her face coming to life as she looked at him in pure wonderment. When she whispered his name, a smile across her face. Her hand caressing his cheek as he held her in his arms, so relieved to be with her again. And then she had leaned in, pressing her lips to his. The moment had been precious and yet fleeting, ending as it was only beginning. He vaguely remembers smiling, truly smiling for the first time in years before the world around him faded away.

Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes and looked around. Why was he here? This didn’t seem like any type of afterlife he had read about as a student, although he supposed no one truly knew the purpose of the afterlife. He was so alone, his parents had come and gone. SO had Snoke, so had his Uncle. What was the reason behind all of this? Why was he being forced to face his darkest moments? Killing his father, his battle with his Uncle and the terror of his past with Snoke. Could he not just of died and his soul was at peace for the rest of eternity? Or would he have to face the consequences of his actions?

“We all have to face the darkness within Ben, at some point or another.” Ben turned to see a man standing before him, dressed in Jedi robes. This was a man he did not recognise, and yet he knew exactly who they were. “Grandfather,” he whispered. The man gave him a warm smile, nodding slowly. The ghost of Anakin Skywalker didn’t look much older than himself, this was the man before Vader. 

“If we do not face the darkness, we can not learn from our mistakes,” Anakin explained, pacing slowly before him, looking around at the stars. “The darkness never dissipates completely, it is always there, like a devil whispering in our ear.”

Ben looked at this man before him, the man he had looked up to for the majority of his life, gone to for help. But it had been a lie, Palpatine had manipulated him, posing as Vader inside his head. The thought made Ben clench his fists. “Where were you?” he asked coldly. Anakin raised an eyebrow and looked at him in confusion. 

“My whole life.” Ben said quietly, “Where were you? You stood by and let him trick me, allowing me to slip closer and closer towards the darkness.” 

Anakin sighed and with a flick of his wrist, a small bench appeared. He took a seat, gesturing for Ben to sit next to him. After hesitating, Ben obliged and sat down next to his grandfather. “I could not get involved.” Anakin said slowly, “The force doesn’t like it when we interfere with the living.” 

“Damn the force.” Ben shouted, quickly becoming angry, “It has only ever brought me pain.” 

“It brought you to Rey.” Anakin pointed out.

Ben flew to his feet, “AND NOW SHE’S GONE AND I WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!” He shouted. Anakin remained calm, watching his grandson’s anger unfold. “The force allowed Palpatine to manipulate me, to turn me to the darkside, it did the same to you! Why should we listen to it?” 

They stood in silence as Ben slowly calmed down, breathing heavily. “You better hope they didn’t hear that.” Anakin said pointedly. “The force doesn’t tend to be very forgiving.”

Ben put his face in his hands, taking deep breaths as he started to control his anger. “You are so much like your Mother.” Anakin said thoughtfully. Ben looked up slowly. People usually compared him to his father, not his mother. In his eyes, he had very little in common with her. He supposed he was a natural-born leader as she was, however, compared to her when it came to patience in diplomatic situations, he often opted for aggressive negotiations. “What do you mean?” Ben asked curiously. 

Anakin smiled “You have her spirit, her fiery temper.” 

“Yes but my Mother wasn’t a mass murderer, nor did she have demon whispering in her ear.” Ben sighed, why him? Why had Palpatine chosen him? Why had the universe sentenced him to the life of a Skywalker? The Skywalkers, the most disruptive and difficult family in the galaxy. Anakin chuckled, “We aren’t too bad.” he laughed.

Ben shot him a glare, “Stop reading my thoughts.”

“You are making it rather difficult.” 

Ben turned away from him, looking out at the stars. His eyes searched for Rey, if only she were there, maybe he’d feel more at ease. She’d know what to do, she’d guide him. Rey had always been the light in his darkness, the flickering candle even if she didn’t mean to be. 

Sensing movement behind him, Ben remained looking at the stars as his grandfather sat down next to him. “How did you do it?” Ben asked quietly, “How did you turn? How did you truly let go of the darkness?” 

Anakin smiled at him, “The greatest power in the universe saved me.” he explained. Ben raised an eyebrow, giving his grandfather a quizzical look, “The force?” he suggested. Anakin let out another chuckle, shaking his head. “No my boy, it was love.”

“Love?”

“The love of your uncle, of your grandmother.” He explained, “They saw the good in me despite everything I had done, they still loved me.” Anakin paused, looking out at the stars and smiling to himself. Ben waited patiently, intrigued by his grandfather’s words. Love. The most powerful thing in the galaxy, magic like no other. “It wasn’t easy, even in death there is pain. I had to face the darkness head-on before I could reach your grandmother.” 

Ben felt a chin go down his spine at his words. “And I will have to do the same?” Ben asked. Anakin nodded, placing his hand other his, “But we’ll do it together.”

Ben nodded slowly, he understood. It was time to stop running, to accept the truth. “Are you ready?” Anakin asked. Ben took a deep breath and they stood. It was time to face the darkness. Together.

* * *

The two Skywalkers stood side by side amongst the darkness and the stars. Anakin placed a hand on his grandson’s shoulder, “May the force be with you.” he said quietly. As his grandfather’s voice faded away, Ben watched as the visions began.

Before him was his uncle’s burning temple, the screams of padawans made Ben’s skin crawl. But he stood firmly, forcing himself to watch the destruction. He had to face the darkness. He had done this, he had brought pain. It didn’t matter that Snoke had told him to, that his Uncle’s betrayal had pushed him over the edge. Even if deep down he didn’t intend for it to happen, it still did. And it was his fault. His first act of darkness. For so long he had pushed away the memory, forcing it into the back of his mind. 

The image of the burning temple faded away destruction followed. The first order slaughtering innocents, him at the forefront dressed in black carrying the spitting red saber. The screams of civilians, the cries of children. Innocent people, murdered at his hand. And what for? To prove himself. To prove to his master that he was Vader’s heir, that he could follow in his Grandfather’s footsteps and rule the galaxy. He had been so blind. Blinded by the darkness, his hatred fueling the anger that burned inside him. He was a monster. 

Ben watched as the villagers on Jakku appeared before him. “Kill them all.” he said through his mask. He closed his eyes and listened as the screams began. So much screaming. So much pain. He could sense the image changing and soon he was listening to the sounds of the Hosnian System being destroyed. So much suffering. He’d ended the lives of so many men and women. Of children, he had slaughtered children who had done nothing wrong, ended their lives before they began. A single tear ran down his cheek.

“Get out of my head.” Ben’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Rey’s voice. He watched the scene before him unfold. How he had entered her mind, he’d hurt her, made her reveal her deepest secrets. And she’d fought back, forced her way into his mind. Ben looked longingly at Rey, if only he had realised sooner.

As the other images had, Rey’s faded away and Ben was met with the worst one yet. The red saber plunging through his father’s chest. Ben cried out, rushing forward ignoring the feeling of his grandfather’s hand dropping from his shoulder. Images flashed violently before him. His father falling, Rey’s distant cries and Chewie’s roars. Pushing Rey up into a tree, slicing the ex-stormtroopers back. Watching the resistance being destroyed, nearly firing on his mother from the cockpit of his tie fighter, watching Rey being tortured by his master, choosing power of Rey, ordering the destruction of the resistance. 

It was all happening too fast, “Stop please.” he begged as more screams filled his ears. Stop. He needed it to stop. But it didn’t. It continued, more of his crimes flashing before him. “I’m sorry, please, I’m so sorry.” Ben fell to his ears, crying as he witnessed the evil acts of Kylo Ren. 

And then it stopped it, it all stopped. Ben let out a relieved cry, his head falling into his hands as he wept. He cried for the innocents he had killed, for his parents, even his Uncle and for Rey. He had hurt her so much, she deserved so much better than a monster like him. Ben cried quietly, he couldn’t stop, the pain came flooding out of him, laced in guilt and regret. He almost didn’t notice the arms that were wrapped around him. Instead of pushing them away he sank into them, allowing himself to be held. Gentle hands moved through his hair. “Ssh, it’s okay, it’s over.” came a women’s voice. The woman pressed a kiss to his forehead, rocking him gently from side to side. “It’s all over.” Ben opened his eyes and was met with kind eyes and a small smile. 

“Grandmother?” He croaked. She nodded slowly, holding him close.

“Oh my boy, I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.” she whispered. Ben looked at Padme Amidala in awe. She was dressed like a goddess, her hair was adorned with flowers and she was dressed in a blue and purple gown. “You’ve done so well, you’ve been so brave.” Padme pressed another kiss to his forehead before pulling away slightly so she could see his face. “Did you not see what I have done?” Ben asked. How could anyone who knew of his crimes believe that he had been brave? Padme nodded slowly, using her fingers to wipe away his tears. He felt like a small child. “But you returned Ben, you came back.” she explained, “There was always good in you, it had always been there and now it’s awake.” she continued gently, “And you don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

His grandmother truly was an incredible woman. Ben felt honoured to even be related to her. “No one should forgive me, I don’t deserve it.” he said solemnly. Padme shook her head, taking his hands in her tiny ones. “You banished the darkness once and for all Ben.”

“I didn’t, Rey did.” 

“And who brought her back. You did what my husband couldn’t, you saved the one you loved from death.” said Padme. 

Ben looked down into his lap. “And now she is suffering.” he said quietly, “I gave her my life because if either of us deserved to live, it’s her.” He recalled the events on Exogol. When he had climbed out of the pit with his bare hands, desperate to reach Rey, to help her. 

Then he had felt it. Her force disappearing. Being taken by the cruel hands of death. He had nearly fallen again, his heart aching, screaming out at the loss. But he had pushed on, forced himself to reach her. 

He staggered across the throne room where he saw her lying motionless. Falling down next to her lifeless form, he had pulled her into his arms, his heartbreaking into a thousand pieces as he held her in his arms. 

The decision had been easy to make, living without her would’ve been impossible. 

“Love is greater than death Ben, nothing can separate it.” Padme explained. Slowly she got to her feet, gesturing for him to the same. She took a hold of his hand and led him through the darkness, across the stars.

They came to a stop and Ben watched in awe as Rey appeared before him. She was smiling, her smile could light any room. It was from Exogol, when she had smiled and whispered his name. “She’s a wonderful girl.” Padme said with a smile.

Ben nodded, “You have no idea.” he smiled at the image of Rey, his light, “She is everything. She is courageous, she is a great fighter. She is never afraid. She saw through the darkness and found Ben Solo. She is my favourite Jedi.” Ben looked down at his grandmother who was smiling proudly at him, “The only place I want to be, is with her.”

“Then go to her.” Padme said with a smile that reminded him of his mother.

“But I’m here, and she’s there. It’s not possible.” he said sadly. The reality was that they couldn’t be together anymore. 

Padme chuckled, “My dear child, nothing is impossible.” she said. Ben looked at her in confusion. Once again she offered him her hand, “Come on Ben, it’s time to go home.” Despite being unsure of what his grandmother meant, he took her hand. Padme led him away from the path he had been following. He thought he’d fall into the darkness. But to his surprise they walked amongst the stars, moving towards an unknown destination. 

The further they walked, the more Ben felt himself becoming distant from the strange place he had found himself in. Soon he felt his grandmother’s hand leave his and the stars faded away until all that remained was silence.

* * *

The first thing he noticed was the heat. Wherever he was, it was boiling.

The second thing he noticed was sand. He hated sand. It was coarse, and rough, and irritating and it got everywhere. It was surrounding him, as if he were sinking into it. 

His eyes slowly opened and he squinted slightly as sunlight blazed in his eyes. As he sat up, he realised where he was. He was on Tatooine, a place he had only a handful of times.

The third thing he noticed was that he was alive. There was air in his lungs, and he was truly present. He was no longer a spirit wandering the never world of the force. The realisation made him both excited and confused. How was this possible? He had died,he was sure of it. He looked down at his attire, he was no longer dressed in the white robes, for now, he was in the black pants and top he had worn on Exogol. He smiled when his finger traced the whole Rey had left when she killed Kylo Ren.

Rey.

He had to find her. 

Stumbling to his feet he looked around for her, desperate to find her. She was close. He could feel it. It made him ecstatic. 

The fourth thing he noticed was the Lars homestead with the Millenium Falcon next to it. His father’s ship, his heart nearly flew out of his chest. The ship carried many memories, the sight of it brought a smile to his face. 

The fifth thing he noticed was the most special.

The fifth thing he saw was Rey kneeling in the sand, watching as two lightsabers descended. As if she noticed his presence, her head snapped up and she turned. Ben could barely breathe when their eyes met across the sandy landscape. She got to her feet and immediately ran towards him, tears streaming down her cheeks. He broke into a run, desperate to hold her in his arms once again. 

“Ben! Ben! Ben..” Rey called out his name as they moved closer to each other until she was in his arms, crying as she said his name. He cried with her, refusing to let her go. He was real, so was she. After everything that had taken place, they were together. It was like a dream. Rey pulled back to look into his eyes, her own were red and swollen from crying. “H-How is this real?” She asked, her voice laced with awe and disbelief, “You were dead, I watched you disappear.” Ben could see the pain in her eyes, his death had truly broken her. Their separation had pained her as much as it had done the same to him. 

But he simply smiled at her, brushing a loose tendril of hair and tugging it gently behind her ear. “Death cannot stop true love.” he said softly, “All it can do is delay it for a little while.” A smile spread across Rey’s face, “You love me?” she said, her voice breaking as she spoke. How could she not no? Of course he did! Ben took her face in his hands, “I love you more than all the stars in the galaxy.” He professed. 

Rey’s hand rested upon his and through her tears of happiness she replied, “I love you Ben.” she said, “I can’t live in this galaxy without you.” 

“I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.” With those words Ben closed the remaining distance between them and pressed his lips to hers, overcome with love and adoration. It was perfect. After waking up after his death, Ben thought he’d never feel the press of her lips to his ever again, and yet here he was. “I love you.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Words were tumbling out of him between kisses, nothing could ever compare to being with her. 

“There has been no one here for so long.” The voice pulled Rey and Ben apart. The pair turned to see an old woman and a camel a few feet away. The old woman was looking at them in confusion. “Who are you?” she asked.

It was Ben who answered first, “Ben Solo.”

“And I’m Rey.” Said Rey with a small and kind smile.

“Rey who?” the woman asked. 

He felt a slight jolt in the force bond, but Rey wasn’t in pain. She wasn’t angry or upset about her heritage. Palpatine didn’t even cross her mind.

It was at that moment they both realised that they had found what they had been searching for their entire lives. Acceptance, belonging, love. They were together now, they would never be apart again. Not even death could come between them. Their bond, their love would forever bind them.

Rey looked up at Ben, before turning back to the women. 

“Rey Solo.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

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> 
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